Explanation of the Poem:

This poem by Robert Burns is a bawdy and explicit song about sex. Here’s a line-by-line explanation, with some of the cruder terms replaced with more polite language:

Come rede me, dame, come tell me, dame,
My dame, come tell me truly,
What length o’ graith, when weel ca’d hame,
Will ser’e a woman duly?
– The speaker is asking a woman to tell him honestly what length of “tool” (penis), when properly used, will satisfy a woman adequately.

The carlin clew her wanton tail,
Her wanton tail sae ready;
I learn’t a sang in Annandale,
Nine inch will please a lady.
– The old woman wagged her lustful “tail” (vulva), which was very eager. The speaker learned a song in Annandale (a region in Scotland) that claims nine inches will please a woman.

But for a countrie cunt like mine,
In sooth we’re nae sae gentle;
We’ll tak’ twa thumb-bread to the nine,
And that’s a sonsie pintle.
– However, for a “country [vulgar term for vagina]” like the speaker’s, they’re not so delicate. They’ll add two thumb-widths to the nine inches, and that’s a plump “pintle” (penis).

O leeze me on my Charlie lad!
I’ll ne’er forget my Charlie!
Twa roarin’ handfu’ and a daud,
He nidg’t it in fu’ rarely.
– The speaker expresses their affection for their lover Charlie. They’ll never forget him because he had “two roaring handfuls and a bit” (a large penis), and he thrust it in very skillfully.

But weary fa’ the laithern doup,
And may it ne’er ken thrivin’;
It’s no the length that gars me loup,
But it’s the double drivin’.
– The speaker curses the “laithern doup” (lazy or unskilled lover) and wishes they never thrive. It’s not the length that makes the speaker “loup” (leap with excitement), but rather the vigor and skill of the lovemaking.

Come nidge me Tam, come nodge me Tam,
Come nidge me o’er the nyvle;
Come louse and lug your batterin’ ram,
And thrash him at my gyvel.
– The speaker invites their lover Tam to “nidge” and “nodge” (nudge and prod) them over their “nyvle” (navel). They encourage Tam to unleash his “batterin’ ram” (penis) and “thrash” (have vigorous sex with) the speaker’s “gyvel” (a Scots word meaning gable or triangle, likely referring to the vulva).